Even if I don't feel Christmas air yet; even if the 'happy season' means 'breaking up session'; even if I haven't completed my kringles yet; even if Christmas won't be as merry as it was when I was six. I'll at least have a very glee Christmas this year. Apparently it's one thing which inspires me, somehow. The only show at the moment which entertains me with humor and lessons and catches my heart with music and love. And yes, the only show I put effort to watching online when I get the time. It's like when I'm down, I watch it and I forget about being down; when I'm feeling sh*tty, I watch it and I'm happy again. It helps me ease the evil spirit residing in this deceiving human body. There's the feeling of wanting to actually be a part of the club (even if it means going back to the high school days), there's the feeling of joy when they work and perform together, the feeling of sadness when their hearts are broken. It's like when I watch it, I actually become part of it.
Episode 10 moved me because: First, Sue had conscience. Even the Grinch has a soul after all. In my understanding, this basically means Christmas is a season for all, regardless of attitude, work, education, religion, etc. It's not just about Jesus Christ born in Bethlehem like what most religious would talk about often.. for me, it's also about being happy because something inside you just wants to be, and that feeling is too strong it's overflowing so you share it with everybody else around you..especially the ones you love. We can all be happy and we can all give love all throughout the year - I'm there. But this season makes it different because the whole world celebrates it with you. And it wouldn't even matter what you believe in. Like me, I just believe that Christmas is special, the most wonderful time of the year. Second, the songs, they're just great. Reminds me of the carolings back in my younger years. The Christmas carol they did to the faculty moved me (like the way it did with Sue)..the musical arrangement, the acapella, the meaning, even what they were doing it for: the homeless children. Third, it's love. Happy or sad, freshly baked or heart broken, it's inspiring. Quinn happily together with Sam, Arty and Brittany, and even if Rachel is going to spend her Christmas without Finn, it doesn't have to mean lonely Christmas. Lastly, coach Biest becoming Santa for Brittany. I know it's weird for a 16-year-old to still believe in Santa, but she does, and it was sweet of her to actually ask for nothing else but for Arty to be able to walk. And since Santa (coach Biest) cannot literally or whatsoeverlly give what she's asking for, she gave her that expensive mechanical thing which'd help Arty walk, somehow, even if it's for only a few hours in one day. And they didn't even know it came from her. What a very Christmasey episode.
I don't mean to give you a summary (even if I already did), I only wanted to share the joy it gave me. Yea, even if it's just that. I remember joining VFV's (Volunteers for the Visayans) Christmas party and gift-giving last year. You know, it doesn't have to be perfect, nor does it have to be massive.. it just have to be real. I was given the opporuntiy to hand those gifts to the kids as if I was one of Santa's elves, and little did they know how touched I am in that moment watching them full of happiness while they reach their hands out for those wrapped give-aways. The families were waiting for their names to be called so they can have their Christmas goodies. I knew what I felt there was real. I still wanna cry about it when I try to remember. If you've seen what I've seen, you would understand me. The bright eyes shining with gladness that day, the smiles in every child's face, full of enthusiasm, coming up to me with confidence because they wanted to know who I am (because I was a new volunteer). I felt nothing but real happiness right there. I happily sang a carol with Petra because we were judges (also Albert Poon) to the singing and dancing contest they had. It was wonderful to make new friends, even more heart-warming to join the giving. If I had billions, even millions, I'd plan my own giving day for these children. I know it wouldn't be enough for the whole world and for their whole lives, but making them happy with a day like that is priceless. And it makes me happy too. The night before the giving we were partying at the dome. And I seriously didn't get enough sleep I think I only had 2 hours because I had to attend this party at like 9am or something. 'I had to' means I wanted to, needed to, driven to really be there.. one of the best things I enjoy about meeting Nikki and Ton, Steve, Frankie, Albert, Andrew, all these special guys I met from Bliss, staff or volunteers. They share the same thing with me.. being able to help in my own little ways. Up until now, actually. And so yes, I went there without sleep, still motivated to take part and invited Rodelette and Che (even if Che came when the event was about to end).. it was fun. One of the best times! :)
For me, that is the real meaning of Christmas. When you feel special and you make others feel special too. No "garbos" (pride), no competitions. Last year I was privileged to spend Christmas like that, new people, new life-changing experiences, new friends. I realized I don't want much for myself, I mean I don't really buy stuff unless otherwise necessary. Joining their activites was enough for me, spending my money with these kids instead of my own travels can be worth it anyway. This season, Glee flashed me back to that experience and reminded me that all along...all I wanted every year was - love. And I still believe that the more you give it, the more you will receive.
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