If the world asked me to tell my story, I know I’d play it safe. It’s where I’m good at. If a friend asks me what happened, I’d probably tell him half of the story. I never succeeded when it comes to trusting anyone with my own pathetic self. If you’re to ask me if I’m happy, I know I’d honestly tell you I’m not. But I don’t think you can make me tell you why. This is the life that taught me one simple thought which I’m trying to prove wrong up until now: “Never trust anyone. Never trust the words you hear. Never let anyone in.” And I guess in some situations I’ve been, people could use it against you. So it remained to me that it would be much safer to keep it all in.
If the world asked me to dream, I think I’d smile to say “yes, you have no idea.” I’ve seen my dreams change while I grew up and I loved it. I kept hold of it for years. If you ask me about my biggest dream, I’d probably stop to think first, since every single dream I had is big. Now if a friend tells me to stop dreaming, he doesn’t need to do that. I’m already driving the wheel back home, back to me. I’m no longer dreaming of the green fields, no longer dreaming of his beautiful face; no longer wanting to touch the sky; no longer wishing upon a star. I’m no longer dreaming of smelling roses, no longer dreaming of the impossible.
I’m giving it up. The harder the grip, the more that it’s forcing its way out; the more you hold on to it, the deeper it hurts. I think living with nothing in my hands would give me the peace of mind that I’ve long needed. So I’m giving up the dream of a paradise; I’m giving up the dream I’ve been holding on too tight. I’m giving up because it’s not worth fighting for anymore; and if in time it comes back, it’ll be mine.
If the world asks me if I’m crying, I can tell them the truth. Yet the world wouldn’t be seeing me do so. I’m a dreamer, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Only that with the hope I was given, I’m giving it up. I’m letting go of the shining-and-shimmering; I’m letting go of a beautiful butterfly-filled garden; I’m letting go of my heart’s desire. I’ve been watching it come and go, watch it fade away and thought I was blind, but now it’s about time. It’s time to wake up; open my eyes and see that I don’t have wings, I don’t have super powers. And it’s time to look at the other side of the road, time to try a different pair of shoes, figure out if pistachio is as good as vanilla ice cream. It’s time to move on.
As long as I’m living the world can give me more. More than what my heart desires. I was too focused on that one star I didn’t notice all the others were just as beautiful. As long as I’m breathing the world can show me more. More than what I needed. I too have a lot to give if I go out there and prove it. Why did I stay in this corner watching my star slowly fade? So now I’m moving on. Another dream, another hope. I’ve come to the end of the line and will give this dream a kiss goodbye. “Thank you for keeping me, but I gotta go. I’ll find myself a place to park and I can do it myself. You’ll see in time, I will. ‘Til we meet again.”
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