POP! the Balloon goes..

This is it. This is the final moment. The end. It's time.

I don't wanna suffer anymore. I'll take my heart out and rip it apart. I am no longer taking all those feelings. I am not going to let anyone of you hurt me, again! So save your last cent.

Me will say goodbye to people who used me, people who faked me, people who let me down. Me will say goodbye to sorrows and problems of other people. Why would I stress myself saving other people's lives when I can't even save my own? Me is breaking apart already, then I go sewing other people's clothes! And they won't even appreciate that, worst is they don't even learn when you keep sewing for them.

So 'til here. I packed my bags and I'm ready to leave. This is the last glance you'll ever have of me in this pathetic little story. I can't play the game no more you know, it's a children's game. I need to move on, need to grow up. I may have the child spirit in me but this is overboard. We need to turn the page and read on.

You know, I can play naive if I want to. I can pretend I'm not mad, pretend I ain't hurting; I can pretend I'm okay! We absolutely can fake anything, right? From basic things to feelings. I can play innocent when I'm guilty, I can be the victim when I'm the villain; I can play insensitive if I'd want to. I think everybody can do all these, though.

Right now I just can't consume any more emotions rising. It's driving me nuts! I'm sick and tired of listening to other people's crap! I need to listen to my own and try to fix it first. I feel like I'm drowning trying to save another human being in a sinking ship. But of course - saving my own would be too difficult when you don't know how to swim! Haha. Just for the laughs.

I'm quite glad I've helped people in my own way; but sometimes it's just too much. And I gotta help myself too. So this is enough for me. The last chance to save a soul. Then I'm going back home to me..'cause even when I don't feel like I belong to me, I do. This makes me who I am. No matter how much I hate myself for being me, this is me, the real one, no pretentions..just the crazy and weird, emotional little bitch me. Take it or leave it.