Sunday, April 1, 2012

Random Thoughts IV: Inner World

There are so many ways to be happy. If I settle down with one, it's suicide. If the engine breaks down, I can always walk. At least I have two legs to be happy about.

You have so many friends and none of them walked the night with you. I have a few 'coz I don't settle for less. I've made so many to find nobody stay, the days gone by, the waters ran dry. There are so many types of friends anyway. Some who only want good times with you, some who appear once in a blue moon because they want to take advantage of you, some who want to get close so they can start using you, some who just want to flirt with you, some who you can have fun and nice chats with, some who will be there in your weakest, some who're willing to spend time with you unconditionally. Above all these we only want someone who's true. Someone who can tell me I'm a big piece of crap when I really am.

There are so many chances to be happy. Taking a grasp of the chance is a choice. If you made a bad choice, take another. Well it's always been easier said than done.

You want to be understood but you never explain. Life is not a big guessing game. The sail is not my command and my expectations will not always be met. If I want to mourn about not getting everything I want, I can mourn forever. It's a freaking choice. If I want to savage all beasts or indulge in guilty pleasures, who can stop me? People begun heaven and hell in their own ways a long time ago. They've made choices where to go, who to be with, how to live their lives and what makes them happiest. Not all the time chances knock on your door. They come in forms of deceit, of disguise, of foolishness. You have got to start undressing your own decisions.

There are so many reasons to be happy. If you deny this, what a pity. You deprive yourself of the chance because you blame the world for your fate. 

No one is going to make things easier for you, not because nobody cares, but because they're never hard. Well I spent a lot of time taking care of what I have and I was scared of losing them. What about me? Is there anybody out there scared of losing me? Reasons perish like dust in my hand. Yet I never stopped. And it is a choice not to. 'Coz I don't want to miss the chance. Every chance I can have to love and feel loved and be happy about it.
  


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